My So-Called Public Life

Yes, I know, this hasn't been the best year for my pitiful internet presence. I just didn't feel like writing about anything. And then I felt guilty about that. How lame is that? It's not that I have a cult-following here. Haha.

I've also been wondering what this general obsession with making your thoughts and opinions publicly accessible is all about. I mean, I love the opinion page in the newspapers. I enjoy a good public sparring of politicians and public figures. I get a few good giggles from watching Stewart or Colbert. I even like to get riled up by the insanity of FOX News at times.
I guess I'm perfectly fine with opinions in principle (and the internet has made the playing field so much more colorful), it's more the inane status updates, public diaries, and useless trivia that make me wonder.
A few recent newsarticles and TV shows have put this on my mind again...

Yesterday I watched a meta-media magazine on German television. They lamented the decline of quality journalism. Their prime targets were the privately owned TV stations here, where most stories recquire little to no research and are mass-produced to appeal to viewers with five-second attention spans (or so it seems). Interesting example: Flu/Flu shots. Instead of citing facts or asking doctors/researchers, the female "journalist" got the flu shot herself and then reported the next day about slight pain in her arm. OK. WTF is that? Any random person off the street can do the same kind of 'me me me'-reporting.
Frustrating.

A psychotherapist gave an interview about "public relationships". She cited two German celebrities (Boris Becker was one) as examples for people who demonstratively flaunt their love lives (usually rapidly changing partners) in public. The researcher claimed that these personalities have some kind of narcisistic disorder. Well, at least those guys get paid for disclosing private details, ey?

Which brings me to the strange facebook/twitter-phenomenon.
Disclaimer: Yes, I also have a FB account and it is somewhat useful. I like seeing pictures of my friends and sending short messages instead of lengthy emails (which I tend to send very, very infrequently anyway - another source of guilt...).
Nevertheless, I have a hard time understanding why so many people need to update the world at large about the state of their little lives. Who cares about your latest meal, shopping trip, bowel movement? - Yea, OK, maybe somebody does, and I should just ignore the mundane updates and unclench. Probably true. And most days I don't care or mind anyway.
On other days I worry though, because I think there is one side of this "virtual community" and connection with friends, internet buddies and the world: It can trick you into thinking you have a social life.
Sure, you haven't left the house all weekend and you're still in your pajamas, but you've been talking to your friends online all day! Yea, not the same thing as meeting people in person, sharing a meal, playing sports together, taking a walk. A few years ago I was fundamentally lonely, but didn't have to admit it to myself, because I had my buddies on the web.

Don't get me wrong, I love the internet. Talking to people online, looking up random articles and facts, reveling in the unbelievable vastness of this crazy electronic web.
Yet, I don't want to forget the real world: Giving an update to the person sitting across from me at the dinner table. Telling my friends in person that I "like" something they have accomplished. Taking inventory of my unplugged life every once in a while. Checking what my status really is.

This Is Your Life

Just a quick follow-up to the last post about the new year, new goals and such.

It's (hopefully) too early to ponder my lifetime achievements, but here's one thing that's on my list for 2009 and beyond:
No, not having my own show (even though that sounds good, too), but:

• to be a guest on NPR's Talk of the Nation (Best. Show. Ever.) and chat with Neal Conan. In person, if at all possible.

To be invited to the show would be awesome enough, quite frankly, but if I'm coming up with outrageous lifetime goals, might as well go all out:
Neal and I would either chat about my groundbreaking and highly hilarious research (something worthy of an Ig Nobel Award) or my (both best-selling and critically acclaimed) novel.

Ah, Neal. Nice, educated, articulate, listening. Neal.
Call me.

Swearing - 'Linguistic Art Form' Or Just Laziness?

I've been thinking about this for a while and the untimely demise of George Carlin seems as good an occasion as any to pick this up again.

For as long as I can remember I've been fascinated with language. Just the sheer awesomeness and variety of it. Language and speech are such wonderful and varied tools of communication. The innumerable ways language can be used, celebrated, and manipulated just boggle the mind...

The obsession got worse once I decided to be a linguistics major...Well, and the fascination shows no signs of decreasing any time soon.
I love books, magazines, newspapers, blogs. I appreciate tricky crossword puzzles, wordplay, a clever comeback, memorable quotes.

You get the picture. I should probably write about language more often, just because the subject is so extensive and fascinating, it makes my head hurt. It feels like my thoughts on language are very crowded and unstructured in my mind. Maybe writing some of them down would help untangle the weird web of words.
(Yes, I appreciate alliterations, too. Ha!)

So swearing:

I vaguely remember writing a term paper on swearing and taboo words years ago. Of course, the paper is nowhere to be found. I think it was on the relative 'offensiveness' of certain swearwords. Some are absolute no-gos. Others are probably acceptable. It all depends on context and audience. Hmm. Good place to post this:

(I don't like the collage-video, but the audio portion is great.)

Well, what's my point? I love swearing. I think it adds color and expression to statements. There are not many things more satisfying than a passionate rant littered with swearwords. To me, at least.
Also, from a purely scientific standpoint, no word or expression can be 'bad' or 'unacceptable'. It's all society and associations superimposed on the language...

Of course, language and communication are always 'in context'. So I cannot ignore the fact that there are other people listening and evaluating what I say; people judging me on the way I choose to express myself.

Which brings me to the dilemma: Is swearing a flawed way of communicating after all? Is the frequent use of cuss-words a sign of mediocre language skills? A sign of laziness? Crudeness? Vulgarity? Lack of taste?

I think it could be in some cases. It could be a sign of subpar linguistic expression if you can't reign your swearing in. If you use the same set of words and phrases with everybody; be it your boss, a judge or your brother. The beauty of language is that it's so diverse. Language can be beautiful or coarse, direct or indirect, delicate or sturdy.

That said, I want to be able to use the whole array of words. To forgo all swearing would be censoring myself and it would cut out a significant chunk of the communication tools at my disposal.

Sometimes I want to swear. Loudly. Or mutter a curse under my breath.

So to sum this up:
Fuck, yes. It's an art.

Loyalty

I'm a big believer in loyalty. Loyalty in all areas of life. Loyalty to family, partners, friends, co-workers, bosses.

This loyalty-complex might be one of the reasons why I'm often considered too private or 'bottled-up'. For example, I just don't like talking about boyfriend-problems with other people. I consider that a breach of loyalty. In a way even after a relationship is over.

Anyway, I've been thinking about loyalty in the work environment lately.

I work as Administrative Assistant (yea, glorified secretary, I know...), and in that position I get a lot of information about teachers, students, parents, etc. I have an excellent relationship with my boss and we joke about and share a lot of 'inside information'.

We have almost 70 staff members, and naturally I get along great with some (who I actually consider friends) and not so great with others. I try to stay professional at all times (even though the urge to gossip is definitely there...) and my primary loyalty is to my boss, as we are the "administrative team".

My problem with the whole work-loyalty is that I often have to defend or execute decisions that I don't agree with. Or cover up for mistakes I didn't make.
Not a fun part of the job.
I do voice my opinions to the people who make the decision, but as the 'office face', I stick with the 'party line'.

These loyalty issues are all small-scale, I realize, but they made me re-think my dream profession:
Well, one of my dream professions, I think I'd love his job, too:


[They were both characters on The West Wing, a TV show I couldn't get enough of. CJ was the Press Secretary to the President of the United States; Toby was the main Speech Writer.]

Would I be able to be the face of an organization/administration even if I'd disagree with some policies and decisions?
Is it always a good thing to keep up a united front?
When would it be time to cut my losses, leave, and write a tell-all book like Scott McClellan? (Who was on Talk of the Nation yesterday. Excellent show.)
And would I write a book like that? Or would I stay loyal? When does loyalty become an excuse for cowardice and when is it time to demonstrate dissent?

Aaah, my head is about to explode...

Agent Mulder Strikes Again

I have no patience or desire to get hooked on TV shows and then have a schedule to follow, i.e. Monday is Desperate Housewives-night, Tuesday it's Lost, and so on.
Not necessarily because my life is so exciting and unpredictable that I would miss a lot of episodes on account of real-life adventures and escapades. No, I just like to get all addicted to one show and then watch nothing but said show for days or weeks.

I just recently caught up on Lost, a show which gave me a multitude of wonderfully confusing WTF-moments. Still not entirely sure whether I actually like the show or not. Meh.

A show I just recently discovered and could potentially really like: Californication with David Duchovny, the dude from X-files.
Duchonvny plays a superbly cranky, witty, messed-up writer. Some great lines and of course it doesn't hurt that he's easy on the eyes. Haha.

Family First in New Zealand apparently doesn't like the show, which is...hmm...a glowing endorsement in my book...


Sample scenes:

Hank Moody and a women are in bed. He just woke up from a bad dream and makes her laugh with some funny lines....

Woman (laughs): "LOL."
Moody: "What was that?"
W: "Hmm?"
M: "What did you just say? Just now?"
W: "What?"
M: "LOL? Laugh out loud?"
W: "Yea."
M: "That's part of your lexicon? Really? LOL?"
W: "Shouldn't it be part of yours, too? You are writing for cyperspace, you know?"
M: "Oh. And there goes my boner...Wave bye bye..."
W: "What is your issue with LOL?"
M: "I don't have an issue unless you count that fact that every time you say it, you contribute to the death of the English language"
W: "So let me get this straight. You gonna let the fact that I just said LOL get in the way of me giving you the best BJ of your life?"
M: "Not when you put it that way...
(Woman keeps kissing him)
M: "Yea, I'm not the biggest fan of the term BJ either.."

OMG, can I relate. Hehe.

Well, in case you want to watch some more...

I Wish Somebody Would Solve My Problems. Wahaha.

One of my all-time favorite pieces from The Onion. Cracks me up every time.
Not much to comment. Just wanted to point out the hilarity. Hehe.

I Wish Someone Would Do Something About How Fat I Am

Let me level with you.

Taking Advice From Oprah? Woa.

I admit it. I watched Oprah yesterday. No, not a whole show, and no, not on purpose.
(Yea, hmm, it's not that I dislike her or her show. I just have ambivalent feelings about her and her 'message'. More soon...)

Came across The Oprah Show when channel-surfing. It must have been a show from last year, as we always get those things a few months late. Not sure what the topic was exactly, but it was about positive thinking, Karma, vision boards...those kinds of things.

One woman told the story about her husband getting fired. Instead of commiserating and falling into a hole, they celebrated the fact that this must have been part of the universe's plan (They celebrated with champagne no less...). The couple believed that the guy was free to do something better and more fulfilling. Within six weeks he had an exciting new job offer.

WTF, right?

Well, when I went to bed around midnight, a re-run of the show was on. Hold on! Is the universe trying to tell me something? Do I need a more positive attitude? A vision board? Karma cleansing?
Hehe.

Decided that anything is better than being in a funk.
So, check this space for a picture of my vision board. Coming soon...

--
FROM: Wikipedia "Laws of Attraction"

Many people who accept the Law of Attraction as a guide for right living do so on the basis of their faith in the Universe and The Universe's 'Laws';...
... Some proponents of a more modern version of the Law of Attraction claim that it has roots in Quantum Physics. According to them, thoughts have an energy that attracts like energy. In order to control this energy, proponents state that people must practice four things:

• Know what one desires and ask the universe for it. (The "universe" is mentioned broadly, stating that it can be anything the individual envisions it to be, from God to an unknown source of energy.)

• Focus one's thought upon the thing desired with great feeling such as enthusiasm or gratitude.

• Feel and behave as if the object of one's desire is already acquired.

• Be open to receiving it.

Thinking of what one does not have, they say, manifests itself in the perpetuation of not having, while if one abides by these principles, and avoids "negative" thoughts, the Universe will manifest a person's desires.
This list of four steps, couched in quasi-scientific terms, is quite similar to, and was influenced by, the panentheistic "Seven Steps in Demonstration" first outlined in the book Become What You Believe by Mildred Mann (1904 - 1971):

• Desire. Get a strong enthusiasm for that which you want in your life, a real longing for something which is not there now.

• Decision. Know definitely what it is that you want, what it is that you want to do or have.

• Ask. [When sure and enthusiastic] ask for it in simple, concise language. . .

• Believe. Believe in the accomplishment with strong faith, consciously and subconsciously.

• Work. Work at it. . . a few minutes daily, seeing yourself in the finished picture. Never outline details, but rather see yourself enjoying the particular thing . . . Eventually, you will see a time where it will just appear, as a gift or such, or you may see an opportunity to get what you were asking for.

• Feel gratitude. Always remember to say, "Thank you, God [or the universe]," and begin to feel the gratitude in your heart. The most powerful prayer we can ever make is those three words, provided we really feel it. Feel as though you already have what you wanted.

• Feel expectancy. Train yourself to live in a state of happy expectancy... Find a way it will appear in your life, and keep believing in that. May it be that someone gives it to you, or you find an initiation to get it.

Oh and CRAP: Apparently this is somewhat related to "The Secret". Pff. No fan of bestselling self-help stuff at all (And this might just me being jealous. I wouldn't mind having a crappy, bestselling self-help book. With tapes. And seminars. And stuff.).

Maybe the vision board will have to wait...

Come To The Dark Side

So really, is my lack of MoJo driving me insane? Am I that far in the no-motivation-hole that I'm willing to clutch at every straw presented to me? No matter who's at the other end? Am I easy prey for the dark side?

Seriously, I'm a little worried...

So I wake up this morning (late, of course) and while I'm trying to get going, I flip through the TV channels. It's Sunday, so one of the Dutch channels has some kind of religious service on. So does one of the German channels. Both look severely boring. Old oil-paintings of Jesus, priest in traditional garb, lame music...

I get to CNBC and who's preaching to the masses? Joel. Oh no, it's Joel....You know I cannot resist Joel...
I have a morbid fascination with him and he caught me at a weak moment. Damn. He's like this God-fueled motivational speaker...I block out the religious undertones and I really like listening to him.
Yea, I admit it. I like listening to a slightly manic-looking television-preacher from Texas. Sheesh.

Well, today Joel told me that my time will come or might already be here. As long as I work hard and believe in myself, good things WILL come to me.

Hey, who doesn't like to hear that? I think Joel (and maybe other TV preachers) are just like religiously-infused versions of Dr.Phil or Tony Robbins.

They are all making shitloads of money, and hey, why not? I have no problem with that. Especially since they have to keep up this upbeat facade of perfection all the time. I mean, Joel cannot show up and confess that he's having a shitty day and he really didn't feel like getting out of bed. Hehe.

Must be hard work to look like Barbie and Ken sometimes, don't you think?
Wahaha, really, they look like plastic dolls from hell. Stepford wife AND husband. I wonder who's at the controls? Hehe.
See, I guess I'm not a victim of the Lakewood megachurch just yet.

Back to all the motivational people on TV: They are not really hurting anybody and I think it's a good thing to hear their simple message every once in a while: Work hard, believe in your dreams, be a good person.

I mean, I can get behind that. No problem.
Hear that? I think that's my MoJo knocking on the door...

This Is Why I Love Bill Maher

He calls it like he sees it. He's not afraid to offend anybody. He has a lot of strong opinions and puts them out there for the world to choke on them. Haha.

God, I wish I'd be more like that sometimes.

And for some reason, Maher manages to stay fairly civil and courteous while being direct. Or maybe that's just my perception of it. Hmm.
At least there's no beating around the bush with him. Very cool.

So here's his blog-entry from March 12, 2008:

Spitzer's Trysts: Stop Over-Thinking This
I'm going to throw the remote through the TV if one more news twink says something on the order of "When we come back, we'll look into what drives a successful man like Eliot Spitzer to risk it all..." Oh yes, let's convene a panel of experts for that. Let me help you: because he wants to get his nut off! Stop with all the analysis! It never ends, I hear all these people talking about how powerful people think they can get away with anything, so it's a thrill, or that it's for this psychological reason or this one -- please, he wanted to CUM WITH SOMEONE! Stop overthinking this: people need sex, and married people generally aren't getting it. Studies show (OK, I'm making that up, but it's true nonetheless) that people married 20 years only have sex on Valentine's Day, their anniversary, and their birthdays. You can hate me as the messenger, but it's true -- how can anyone be expected to still want to score with someone you've been having sex with for a score? Mr. Spitzer simply wanted what humans desire, to feel that sensational sensation when you're hot for someone, to touch and hug and bump and grind -- this is really not that complicated! If you're ascribing more to it than that, it's probably really more about your own fear that your spouse wants to do the same thing. Or is doing it. Married people are often starved for sex, touch, affection, not to mention the kinky stuff that wifey definitely won't do. So if you find yourself at such a place in life -- and this is most certainly wives as well -- where you're dieing like this, you can do one of three things: get divorced, cheat, or continue to live a life with little or no passion, sex, etc. It's easy to point fingers, but how about some recognition that society's rules are so at odds with human nature that there are actually no good options for an Eliot Spitzer, and the ZILLIONS OF PEOPLE JUST LIKE HIM, many of who are tut-tut-ing today. I guess a guy is a hero who sticks it out and leads a life of quiet desperation. I'm not so sure it's heroic to make him.

The sentence in blue really strikes a cord with me, too. And I'm not really taking it as a comment that refers to married people. Not at all.
How many people DO live a life of quiet desperation? Makes me sad to think about the numbers...

Holier Than Thou

So why exactly is it that the people preaching the loudest are often the ones committing the 'crimes' they are so fervently denouncing?
Just baffles me.

So the governor of New York, Eliot Spitzer, uses his alleged superior morality and record as Attorney General to get elected. He goes after criminals with fervor:

"As state attorney general, he prosecuted prostitution rings with enthusiasm — pointing out that they are often involved in human trafficking, drug trafficking and money laundering. In 2004 on Staten Island, Mr. Spitzer was vehement in his outrage over 16 people arrested in a high-end prostitution ring." (from the NYT Editorial, March 11)

And then he goes and hooks up with a hooker? Seriously?

I'm telling you, 'holier than thou' always comes back to bite you in the ass.

And on a somewhat related note: I wish people would stop commenting on other people's relationships/marriages.
Nobody knows anything about the Spitzer family. Nor should they. The state of the Spitzer marriage, whatever agreements or problems they might have is their business. Simple as that.

And, don't push your morals on me and assume you know ANYTHING about me and my private life. Blech.

What's Not To Love?

So I always knew that I had a strange fascination with all things American...Not completely sure why that is, but I'll think about it a little more and come back to this topic...

Anyway, I seem to quickly develop a strange fascination with all things Texan...or Austin...or maybe it's still just a fascination with America...Hmm.

About Austin: There might be stuff that it is over the top or a touch too much Texas-pride...I haven't made up my mind yet. But seriously, how much can really be wrong with a city where you can get free copies of America's Finest News Source at every other street corner?
Yea. Not that much.
Also, a city that houses a awesomely named Hot Sauce Shop where I found "Fire Dust'd P-Nut But'r" (yea, Ok, stupid name, but what a concept! Blend peanuts, black pepper, garlic, chile caribe and halapeno peppers!) will always hold a special place in my heart...