New Year, New ... Damnit.

So much for new year and good intentions...I have not been feeling very productive writing-wise lately. Also, because I have been a little grumpy about winter and the weather and and and..., I might just have whined all the time anyway.

On a more positive note, it was my birthday a couple of weeks ago, and I got my first ever cookie-cake. If I recall correctly (sorry mom, in case this is wrong...), it was also my first ever cake with writing on it. Excellent.
Here it is:

And yes, it was as tasty as it looks. Thank you, Mr.Lara. Haha.

Ouch. Has It Really Been More Than Two Months?

Oh man. It's not like nothing happened in my life. Or that I have an excellent excuse (like not having internet access, being incredibly busy with matters of international importance or similar...). Just been...yea...plain lazy.

I have a few notes though and two races to write about. So bear with me. I'll be back.
Soon.

'Back in Black' or 'An Unofficial Duathlon'

[Disclaimer: I'm not trying to excuse anything, but I've been whining about this before...Lack of motivation and severe lack of training. - All self-inflicted though. Boo. I started running 'more seriously' again last August and prepared really well for my first 1/2 marathon in Amsterdam in October 2007. Tempo-runs, tons of long runs over 12 miles, even -gasp!- some speedwork (Well, "attempted speedwork"...Haha.). Ran the half, had a good time, thought I had my inherent slacker and overeating nature beat. Well, sometime around Christmas, for reasons unknown (Or maybe I just don't want to open up a can of emotional worms, who knows?), I completely lost my motivation. Managed to pack on weight, hardly ran, mostly biked. I managed to run the 1/2 in Austin alright, even though I was slower than during my first half. - I blamed the hills and not my expanding butt or lack of training. Well, 2008 so far was really low in running miles (200 or so) and my longest run was actually the Austin-Half in February. I think I ran 7.5 miles once after that. Sheesh.]

OK, so I spent last Saturday being uncharacteristically nervous and I hardly moved all day; in a feeble attempt to have 'fresh legs' on Sunday.

Sunday AM, I had the choice between tram + train + free shuttle or my bike. The bike won.
Biked 13 miles to Leiden (beautiful college town).
The race in Leiden is really well organized, but everybody seemed so professional. Somewhat intimidating, I thought. It was a beautiful day. Perfect running conditions, really.
After the Dutch National Anthem was played, the gun went off at 10:30AM.



Well, not much to say about the race, except that it seemed very, very long. Also, the water stations were set up every 5K, which for some reason seemed like a long stretch between drinks...I was so looking forward to the water/sports-drink. I walked through all of the water stations and once or twice otherwise, just to give me a break. Definitely my lamest 1/2 so far, hehe.

Good crowd support, too, and a nice course. Parts of it went through the city of Leiden, but there were quite a few stretches along the canals and fields. Pretty.

I must have been delusional at the 7K-marker already, because I thought "Uh, cool, more than half-way already." Haha, yea, not 7 miles, dumbo...

Three old, lecherous men commented on my running skirt and on how they were enjoying the 'scenery'. Sheesh. Men. But maybe they were delusional, too. Harhar.

I wouldn't say I struggled through the thing, I just took it easy and my goal was just to get to the finish line alive and without my knees acting up (Which worked...).

I did have some kick left at the end apparently, because I passed three people just before the finish line (No, they were not hugely overweight, old, or limping...).

All in all it was a fun race, even though I cursed every cookie, pizza and pint of ice cream I had downed since December...

Biked home, took a shower, collapsed on the couch...

Moral of the story:
It's more fun to run a race well-prepared and at a lower weight. (Surprise!)
A full marathon still seems overwhelming and very, very long. (But 4 1/2 is enough time to prepare, I hope.)
---
Uh, and 'Back in Black', because I wore all black. Skirt, shirt, hat, sunglasses. Very cool and very much incognito...

Sweet Home Chicago

Ten years after I first set foot on blessed U.S. soil (haha), I will finally go back to Illinois.
Chicago, to be exact.

On October 12, 2008, at 8AM, my butt better be in shape, because I'll be lining up with more than 45 000 others to run the Chicago marathon.

Even though I despise crowds, this gets me quite excited:

Merely signing up back in January wasn't enough to get me fired up and running. For some reason, the thought of spending $130 on the registration and then not running the race didn't bother me much. But the ridiculous amount of $$ I had to shell out for the flight and four nights in an overpriced hotel will be doing the trick, I'm certain.

I have no goals other than finishing and having a good time...I've never run further than 15 miles or so = I better get cracking... Cannot wait...

Oh, and for some reason I find this hilarious:

--It’s 1400 miles to Chicago, I got a full tank of glycogen, half a pack of gu, it’s dark and I’m wearing sunglasses.
--Hit it!

Inspired by this video/movie, of course:

Taking Advice From Oprah? Woa.

I admit it. I watched Oprah yesterday. No, not a whole show, and no, not on purpose.
(Yea, hmm, it's not that I dislike her or her show. I just have ambivalent feelings about her and her 'message'. More soon...)

Came across The Oprah Show when channel-surfing. It must have been a show from last year, as we always get those things a few months late. Not sure what the topic was exactly, but it was about positive thinking, Karma, vision boards...those kinds of things.

One woman told the story about her husband getting fired. Instead of commiserating and falling into a hole, they celebrated the fact that this must have been part of the universe's plan (They celebrated with champagne no less...). The couple believed that the guy was free to do something better and more fulfilling. Within six weeks he had an exciting new job offer.

WTF, right?

Well, when I went to bed around midnight, a re-run of the show was on. Hold on! Is the universe trying to tell me something? Do I need a more positive attitude? A vision board? Karma cleansing?
Hehe.

Decided that anything is better than being in a funk.
So, check this space for a picture of my vision board. Coming soon...

--
FROM: Wikipedia "Laws of Attraction"

Many people who accept the Law of Attraction as a guide for right living do so on the basis of their faith in the Universe and The Universe's 'Laws';...
... Some proponents of a more modern version of the Law of Attraction claim that it has roots in Quantum Physics. According to them, thoughts have an energy that attracts like energy. In order to control this energy, proponents state that people must practice four things:

• Know what one desires and ask the universe for it. (The "universe" is mentioned broadly, stating that it can be anything the individual envisions it to be, from God to an unknown source of energy.)

• Focus one's thought upon the thing desired with great feeling such as enthusiasm or gratitude.

• Feel and behave as if the object of one's desire is already acquired.

• Be open to receiving it.

Thinking of what one does not have, they say, manifests itself in the perpetuation of not having, while if one abides by these principles, and avoids "negative" thoughts, the Universe will manifest a person's desires.
This list of four steps, couched in quasi-scientific terms, is quite similar to, and was influenced by, the panentheistic "Seven Steps in Demonstration" first outlined in the book Become What You Believe by Mildred Mann (1904 - 1971):

• Desire. Get a strong enthusiasm for that which you want in your life, a real longing for something which is not there now.

• Decision. Know definitely what it is that you want, what it is that you want to do or have.

• Ask. [When sure and enthusiastic] ask for it in simple, concise language. . .

• Believe. Believe in the accomplishment with strong faith, consciously and subconsciously.

• Work. Work at it. . . a few minutes daily, seeing yourself in the finished picture. Never outline details, but rather see yourself enjoying the particular thing . . . Eventually, you will see a time where it will just appear, as a gift or such, or you may see an opportunity to get what you were asking for.

• Feel gratitude. Always remember to say, "Thank you, God [or the universe]," and begin to feel the gratitude in your heart. The most powerful prayer we can ever make is those three words, provided we really feel it. Feel as though you already have what you wanted.

• Feel expectancy. Train yourself to live in a state of happy expectancy... Find a way it will appear in your life, and keep believing in that. May it be that someone gives it to you, or you find an initiation to get it.

Oh and CRAP: Apparently this is somewhat related to "The Secret". Pff. No fan of bestselling self-help stuff at all (And this might just me being jealous. I wouldn't mind having a crappy, bestselling self-help book. With tapes. And seminars. And stuff.).

Maybe the vision board will have to wait...

Sabotage!

Well, how can I eat healthy and get in better shape again when Lulu and Simone bring this (gift from my mom):



Nah, thanks. Really. Delicious ears.

Seriously Now: Who Stole My MoJo?

I'm really pissed off at somebody right now. I just cannot figure out at whom. Somehow I suspect I'm the culprit myself, but I'm not sure I'm ready to admit that. Haha.

I seem to have misplaced my running/workout/eating-healthy MoJo, and I would really like to get it back. I was doing really well from August 2007 to right around Christmas; logging decent miles, eating well, being generally optimistic about life...Well, there were some weeks in November and December when my MoJo seemed to make some well-crafted escape attempts...But it stuck around regardless...

Ever since Christmas I have a hard time to get my (expanding...GRR) butt out the door and away from the fridge/cabinets...

I did alright when I was on vacation in Austin, but it got worse after I got back. What gives?

So, MoJo: Come back? Please?

Oh, and I'm slightly relieved because other people seem to have similar problems...
Maybe I should drop this Gary-dude a line...

A Sucker For Inspiration

So here's a weird thought:
Almost everybody is a sucker for inspiration, but hardly anybody leads an inspired life.
-What's with that?

Well, maybe I'm just speaking for myself here...

I notice that there are a lot of inspiration-spreading methods out there (daily emails with quotes; calendars; all the Oprah-moments and -shows; videos on YouTube; etc.) and that there's apparently a truckload of money to be made with self-help/get your act together/live the life you've dreamed of - concepts (or scams, depending on your point of view. Hehe)...

Yet, many people seem to be defeated and without much joy in their life. I notice at work, with some friends and acquaintances, random encounters...A lot of grim faces, a lot of tiredness, grumpiness...a rather bleak outlook on life, its pleasures and challenges.

Not that I'm always cheery and inspired, but I try to be.
I try to see the small, everyday joys...The flowers on my bike ride home, the sun rising just above the horizon, the beauty of the ocean around here...
I try to be nice to people (or at least to the ones who deserve it. Haha.)...
I try to be a positive in people's lives, not an energy-drainer...

Well, anyway, I guess I've been a little grouchy lately, too. Not exactly sure why though.

Maybe it's because I feel a little aimless, listless, joyless...pretty much allkindsofthings-less. This might still be part of my 'vacation-hangover', but I also feel as if I need to make a decision about where I'm going with ... well, my life.

I'd hate to be one of those people of wasted potential or unfulfilled dreams...Suddenly realizing that life has made decisions for me...Feeling stuck in a cruel web of obligations and pressures that somehow crept up on me...

Right now, I feel my life is lacking real structure and goals (But I also have no obligations or pressures...Which is a good thing, I guess.). I have a lot of options...a lot of "roads in a wood" I could take. It's just a matter of taking the proverbial bull by the horns at some point...Hmm.

So, this might all sound a little confused. That's because I am, too.

Oh, and Robert Frost? Try having more than one road to take...

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Plus, a song that always makes me feel sentimental and hopeful at the same time...
Good Riddance

Big Freaking Surprise

Yea, cannot really say I'm surprised. Often works that way for me: Awfully good intentions, awful execution...

I don't know how some people do it...Post on their blog every day or (gasp!) even multiple times a day.
Either my life is way too boring or I'm just lazier than average...Probably both.

I have this long lists of things I want to write about (And I DO have scribbled notes; typed-up, half-finished pieces; old essay-drafts...) + a gazillion pictures on my computer and in two large cardboard boxes (which need to be scanned...sigh...). Still, looks like the level of posting-urgency hasn't hit 'orange alert' just yet...

So well, now at least here's a post about how I just couldn't be bothered to post.
Hey, it's a start.