So, I NEED peanut butter every day. And Dutch peanut butter blows. Ergo: Huge problem.
I was faced with this major crisis this AM:
My last jar of (US import) Skippy creamy deliciousness. Empty. The local grocery store only carries the Dutch brands, and I was too lazy and too cheap to ride to the store that sells Skippy (for luxury drug-level prices, BTW!).
Bought this: Happy to report that it has passed the first (very careful) taste test...Not great, but acceptable... So maybe there's hope for me.
But for now, I'm enjoying the last few spoonfuls of the real thing...Yum.
On mornings like this one, I feel so thankful to be alive and be an "athlete" (Yea yea, no smartass comments, please!). Because if I hadn't been alive (haha) and on my bike at 6:25AM, I would have missed the most glorious ride into the morning sun....along the beautiful peaceful dunes...past small ponds, gentle hills and a lavender field, which smelled gloriously fresh and soothing...
Anybody got some extra $$, € or £ (hell, ANY currency will be gladly accepted) to sponsor my trip to this beautiful island?
Found a link to the Cyprus Challenge (over Thanksgiving weekend) yesterday and I cannot stop thinking about it. How freaking awesome is this? Thursday: 6K time trial. Friday: 11K trail run. Saturday: Half-Marathon. Sunday: 10K. Sounds fabulously exhausting, huh?
If you send me money, I promise to train well and actually do it. Huh? Anyone?
I've lived in Zuid-Holland for a little over two years now, and really like it. Not so much the gray, dreary, wet winter (see complaints over the last few weeks...), but overall, it's a wonderful place to live. I enjoy the outdoorsy-ness of the people, the ocean, the roughness of the weather (well, most of the time),...all kinds of things...
Nevertheless, I don't feel very "Dutch". I work in an American/international environment, i.e. I speak English at work and with most other people I meet. So I feel a little disconnected sometimes, but not necessarily in a bad way.
Also, I think I haven't picked up a lot of traits or habits of the people living here. I DO feel at home though, albeit in a "temporary"-kind-of-way.
Many of the little oddities and different behaviors which struck me as weird when I first moved here have become normal to me. I don't even notice them anymore...(Well, I still cannot believe that so many dog-owners let their canines take a dump right on the sidewalks. Freaking dog-shit ALL over the place, I can tell you...So I guess some things stay annoying and noticeable, hehe.)
What occurred to me today is this though: The Dutch seem to have an innate disdain for curtains. This seemed very, very strange to me for a long time. You literally walk down the street and look into everybody's windows. People having breakfast or dinner, watching TV, playing with their kids. Especially weird at night, I think, when you can see everything in the lit-up rooms. I've been wondering for two years why the Dutch apparently have ZERO need for privacy. The no-curtain-policy just struck me as odd.
But, GET THIS! I'm sitting here right now, typing and eating dinner with the curtains open and the lights on. I've turned Dutch on the curtain issue! Woa. And I like it. It's nice to not shut the world out. My Dutch neighbors don't strike me as particularly voyeuristic anyway. Everybody is minding their own business...with the curtains open though...
The others tend to live in tall skinny houses of four or five stories with pointy roofs and great big windows that have no shutters and, often, no curtains. The Dutch have nothing to hide.
Freaking recurring theme of my life: Why in the world didn't I do this earlier? Getting in shape, traveling more, all kinds of stuff...
Case in point: Finally got my bike fixed yesterday. What a difference! Basically FLEW home after work with this huge grin on my face. This is what biking is supposed to feel like!
I'd had an "eight" in my front tire for about two months. Brakes didn't work well at all. Hadn't been able to shift gears on the front pad for...hmm...three weeks. For the last week or so, I couldn't apply any kind of force, because the chain/gear system just went 'crick, crick, crick' all the time...Even had to push the bike up the one little hill on my commute. Sheesh.
I was generally procrastinating and trying to 'band-aid' the problems. Plus, getting stuff fixed around here is painful. Always takes forever and costs a bunch. Well, finally found a bike store that promised to fix the bike during the day, so I didn't have to miss a ride. Wonderful. It was still pricey, but well worth it...
So yesterday I was able to stand up on the pedals, really lean into the curves and generally be my old, slightly reckless biking-self. Oh yea.
Not feeling like philosophizing much lately. Not sure why.
Just thought I'd put up a few pictures of my favorite cartoon/comic strip hero. Well, one of my favorites. I put the daily Frazz-comic strip into the communication I send out here at work. Very funny stuff. I think I can relate to Frazz' life because he also works at an elementary school and he loves to run, bike, and swim. Hmm, well, Frazz is a much better athlete than I am, but I'm working on it...
Oh, and I found this, which explains everything! (I love Calvin and Hobbes. Plus, I feel like I am somewhat of a "brilliant underachiever" myself. Haha.)
Because of Frazz's physical, and occasionally spiritual, similarity to Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes, speculation has arisen that Mallett has created an unofficial and unauthorized sequel to Bill Watterson's classic strip, and that Frazz is actually Calvin as an adult. Some other characters that are similar are Miss Wormwood and Rosalyn in Watterson's strip to Mrs. Olsen and Miss Plainwell in Mallett's strip. Mallett denies this, and has alluded to the controversy several times in the strip, including developing a ball game for Frazz and Caulfield that is modeled on "Calvinball." In the foreword to Live at Bryson Elementary, Washington Post columnist and Mallett advocate Gene Weingarten writes, "They're [critics are] focusing not only on hair (Frazz's frizz), but also on his station in life: a brilliant underachiever. Well, Jef assures me that any similarity is unintentional." Explanations, however, have done little to influence the strips' detractors, who view it not as an homage but as simple plagiarism. On November 29, 2006, Mallett referenced the controversy in a conversation between Caulfield and Frazz. As part of a brief story arc in which it is revealed that Frazz does not speak a second language, the comic's dialogue is as follows:
Caulfield: Whoa! Mister Renaissance Man doesn't know a foreign language! Frazz: Maybe. Maybe I do. Caulfield: Yeah? Which one? Frazz: Pitjantjatjara. Caulfield: Nice. Like anybody can check. Frazz: I also used to be Bill Watterson's assistant.
Lately, I've been wondering about people's passion for life and for what they do. What makes us get up every morning? What motivates us to train for athletic competitions? What keeps us going?
Yea, part of it is basic survival and such. Everybody wants a warm place to sleep, food and some creature comforts. Still, I believe that life is more fulfilling and fun when you have passion for something. A passion that burns inside of you. A passion that forces you to work harder, do better, try again:
Only passions, great passions, can elevate the soul to great things. Denis Diderot
In a way, I'm still searching for my great passion in life. Well, I wouldn't mind more than one passion, actually. I like a lot of things. I have been decent at most stuff I tried, whether it was school/job-related or some kind of free-time activity. I have never had a job I despised or didn't like. I guess you could even say that I felt somewhat passionately about all of them. To this day, it pisses me off when people bitch and moan about the German post office, for example. Seriously, 98% of letters get to their destination the day after they were mailed. How fucking awesome is that? Hehe.
Hmm. So I do get excited and passionate about a lot of things (running, language, teaching, writing,...quite a few more), but I've never been driven by this deep passion for one career or hobby. That's why I'm stuck in this limbo, I guess. I have no singular passion that steers me towards my next, more fulfilling, more challenging job...
I envy my middle brother in a way. He has this insane drive to be a musician. Always has, always will.
(Evidence)
My brother's daytime job is a way to make ends meet. Don't get me wrong, he's good at it and does it well. Still, his passion in life is music.Sometimes it gets him down that he cannot support himself with music alone, that it's insanely competitive out there, that some of the richest 'musicians' are plastic marketing tools. Nevertheless, he keeps on doing what he loves. His passion never waivers. And that's just awesome.
Who are those people who can do "everything in moderation"? I sure as hell can't.
I'm now absolutely convinced that I have an "addictive personality". No, I don't mean that I can charm the socks off everyone and get people addicted to me. Though that would be nice. Hehe. I mean that I will take to any kind of addiction like a fish to water.
I'm glad that I never took up smoking, for example. I know I'd probably not be able to kick the habit. Ever. (Oh, and don't get me started on weed, cocaine and the like...Creeps me out just to think about what that would do to me...Sheesh.) Same goes for alcohol. For some reason the glass of wine with dinner can turn into a bottle or more a night pretty quickly. Not cool. And, most importantly, I'm somehow not able to handle food and exercise in moderation at all. I'm either a super-healthy exercise nut or an overeating couch potato, who feels it's a chore to walk to the store to get more ice cream. Pff. What's with that?
I think I've noticed this 'extreme' mentality in a lot of runners actually. We obsess about weekly mileage, exact speed, perfectly distributed calories and nutrition, race splits, etc. etc. Then there's the search for the perfect shoe, the perfect race, the perfect freaking run. I'm wondering whether runners all have the same addictive tendencies and just learned to channel them into a healthy addiction...
Hmm. Unfortunately, I haven't obsessed much about running lately. I've really been more of a marathon-eating couch dweller (Might even have broken some records when it comes to chocolate-covered Oreos. The devil must have created those little fuckers! I'm not kidding...). Well, I think its safe to say that I don't like this side of the 'food and exercise-extreme' at all. It sucks actually. Makes me doubt myself, my life, my future.
So I'm determined to go to the other, better extreme again...Because if the last 30+ years have proven anything, it's that I'm not good at moderation. So screw that. Moderation blows.
I admit it. I watched Oprah yesterday. No, not a whole show, and no, not on purpose. (Yea, hmm, it's not that I dislike her or her show. I just have ambivalent feelings about her and her 'message'. More soon...)
Came across The Oprah Show when channel-surfing. It must have been a show from last year, as we always get those things a few months late. Not sure what the topic was exactly, but it was about positive thinking, Karma, vision boards...those kinds of things.
One woman told the story about her husband getting fired. Instead of commiserating and falling into a hole, they celebrated the fact that this must have been part of the universe's plan (They celebrated with champagne no less...). The couple believed that the guy was free to do something better and more fulfilling. Within six weeks he had an exciting new job offer.
WTF, right?
Well, when I went to bed around midnight, a re-run of the show was on. Hold on! Is the universe trying to tell me something? Do I need a more positive attitude? A vision board? Karma cleansing? Hehe.
Decided that anything is better than being in a funk. So, check this space for a picture of my vision board. Coming soon...
-- FROM: Wikipedia "Laws of Attraction"
Many people who accept the Law of Attraction as a guide for right living do so on the basis of their faith in the Universe and The Universe's 'Laws';... ... Some proponents of a more modern version of the Law of Attraction claim that it has roots in Quantum Physics. According to them, thoughts have an energy that attracts like energy. In order to control this energy, proponents state that people must practice four things:
Know what one desires and ask the universe for it. (The "universe" is mentioned broadly, stating that it can be anything the individual envisions it to be, from God to an unknown source of energy.)
Focus one's thought upon the thing desired with great feeling such as enthusiasm or gratitude.
Feel and behave as if the object of one's desire is already acquired.
Be open to receiving it.
Thinking of what one does not have, they say, manifests itself in the perpetuation of not having, while if one abides by these principles, and avoids "negative" thoughts, the Universe will manifest a person's desires. This list of four steps, couched in quasi-scientific terms, is quite similar to, and was influenced by, the panentheistic "Seven Steps in Demonstration" first outlined in the book Become What You Believe by Mildred Mann (1904 - 1971):
Desire. Get a strong enthusiasm for that which you want in your life, a real longing for something which is not there now.
Decision. Know definitely what it is that you want, what it is that you want to do or have.
Ask. [When sure and enthusiastic] ask for it in simple, concise language. . .
Believe. Believe in the accomplishment with strong faith, consciously and subconsciously.
Work. Work at it. . . a few minutes daily, seeing yourself in the finished picture. Never outline details, but rather see yourself enjoying the particular thing . . . Eventually, you will see a time where it will just appear, as a gift or such, or you may see an opportunity to get what you were asking for.
Feel gratitude. Always remember to say, "Thank you, God [or the universe]," and begin to feel the gratitude in your heart. The most powerful prayer we can ever make is those three words, provided we really feel it. Feel as though you already have what you wanted.
Feel expectancy. Train yourself to live in a state of happy expectancy... Find a way it will appear in your life, and keep believing in that. May it be that someone gives it to you, or you find an initiation to get it.
Oh and CRAP: Apparently this is somewhat related to "The Secret". Pff. No fan of bestselling self-help stuff at all (And this might just me being jealous. I wouldn't mind having a crappy, bestselling self-help book. With tapes. And seminars. And stuff.).
My last jar of (US import) Skippy creamy deliciousness. Empty.
Happy to report that it has passed the first (very careful) taste test...Not great, but acceptable...
