Walk On The Beach

Just a few pix from today's walk. 4 hours with the wet wind in our backs...Somewhat cold and clammy, but hey, that's the Netherlands for you...

A Set Of Fresh Eyes

It's interesting to see your home (or a place you've lived in for a while) with visitors. Strange little things about houses, everyday occurrences and people, which you yourself had noticed during your first weeks or months, are brought to your attention, once more...

It's like seeing a familiar place with a fresh pair of eyes again. Shiny, strange and new.
I like it.

Dutch tram.

House boat on a canal close to my apartment.

Sabotage!

Well, how can I eat healthy and get in better shape again when Lulu and Simone bring this (gift from my mom):



Nah, thanks. Really. Delicious ears.

Bud or Bloom?

Everybody has hidden talent. Uncovered potential. Secret skills lying dormant just waiting to be revealed.

A lot of people think they can write. They believe they have the next great American novel sleeping somewhere inside of them. Or a collection of deep and meaningful poems; poems that will enlighten readers' lives, make people look at the world differently. A new Leaves of Grass, Grapes of Wrath, The Catcher in the Rye even. Words and sentences to influence one or more generations of readers.
Hey, or if that's too high and mighty, maybe just a bunch of Danielle Steel or Stephen King novels that will generate tons of cash.

I bet almost everybody wonders if they could be a great writer. Somebody who can speak to people. Or, alternatively, be a great musician. Somebody who can speak to people through songs. Be a riveting guitarist or revolutionary songwriter.

The question is:
Why, if we feel this potential inside of us, do so many chose to never tempt fate?

Is it easier to dream? Keep wondering about the life and career that could have been? Is it simply comforting to have a fall-back fantasy?

Is it less painful to stay a budding writer/musician? Never trying is a great way to avoid risk. You'll never have to face the fact that you might not actually have any talent, that you might just suck at your dream.

But in the end, isn't a not so perfect or slightly damaged flower always better than a bud that never dared to bloom?


(Oh, I'm aware that this is overused imagery. Flowers and all. I just had some pictures to go with this. Haha.)

OK, Here's Cold Hard Evidence

March 25 and this is what this place looks like. Sheesh.
Where is spring? Huh? Where?

On the bright side, I think the sun is coming out...

Sailing Solo

I know I can
Weather this alone.
No restraints, no chains.
My thoughts my compass.
Silence my travel companion.

Facing this journey solo
Beats a lukewarm duet.
By far.

Still I'd rather
Be somebody's lifeline,
An anchor
A lighthouse, a home.

Speak With Conviction

My ramblings on here and on message boards made me wonder about my use of language and the way I express my views.

I find it difficult to voice a clear and succinct opinion while trying to avoid sweeping generalizations and reproductions of half-truths/rumors/unproven facts. Well, and of course, I don't want to unnecessarily offend either...

I'd hate it even more though if I would be seen as wishy-washy: Not standing for anything. Changing my mind constantly. Too afraid to be criticized or attacked.
A person without convictions or a cause.

I have no solution for this problem. Yet. Just sayin'.
Harhar.

I admire this guy's work and use of language. Good stuff:

Totally like whatever, you know?
By Taylor Mali

In case you hadn't noticed,
it has somehow become uncool
to sound like you know what you're talking about?
Or believe strongly in what you're saying?
Invisible question marks and parenthetical (you know?)'s
have been attaching themselves to the ends of our sentences?
Even when those sentences aren't, like, questions? You know?

Declarative sentences - so-called
because they used to, like, DECLARE things to be true
as opposed to other things which were, like, not -
have been infected by a totally hip
and tragically cool interrogative tone? You know?
Like, don't think I'm uncool just because I've noticed this;
this is just like the word on the street, you know?
It's like what I've heard?
I have nothing personally invested in my own opinions, okay?
I'm just inviting you to join me in my uncertainty?

What has happened to our conviction?
Where are the limbs out on which we once walked?
Have they been, like, chopped down
with the rest of the rain forest?
Or do we have, like, nothing to say?
Has society become so, like, totally . . .
I mean absolutely . . . You know?
That we've just gotten to the point where it's just, like . . .
whatever!

And so actually our disarticulation . . . ness
is just a clever sort of . . . thing
to disguise the fact that we've become
the most aggressively inarticulate generation
to come along since . . .
you know, a long, long time ago!

I entreat you, I implore you, I exhort you,
I challenge you: To speak with conviction.
To say what you believe in a manner that bespeaks
the determination with which you believe it.
Because contrary to the wisdom of the bumper sticker,
it is not enough these days to simply QUESTION AUTHORITY.
You have to speak with it, too.

Too Much Stuff

Somebody from work forwarded me this link: Story of Stuff


It's a 20-minute-movie about how 'stuff' is produced, used, and discarded in Western society. The clip is well-made and raises some interesting issues.

It got me thinking about how so many people are driven to own more and more stuff. Working towards the next promotion to earn more money, to buy more things, to drive a bigger car, to own a bigger house, to live a better life...
Well, a bigger life. A life with more stuff to show for your success.

This issue seemed overstated and exaggerated in the clip at first. After some more pondering and review of my life so far, I don't think it is.

Really, there are always more things we think we need. Clothes, electronics, books, cars, etc. It never freaking ends.
And does this stuff make your life better? In any way, shape or form?

Well, and it's bothered me for a while that "hanging at the mall"/going shopping seems to be a worthwhile free-time activity...Seriously? Just as nuts as making a trip to IKEA and their cheap food-court a family outing. Bah.

Back to the accumulation of stuff:
I've long felt bogged down by all the stuff I do own and all the stuff I should own.
Yea, I know, sounds weird, but in some ways I feel as if I'm not accomplished enough or am not where I'm supposed to be in life. Not only marital status-wise (or offspring-wise), but also because I have not amassed many of the typical "markers of success"...
More explicitly: No car, no house/apartment, no furniture...

I guess I'm a little conflicted: Should I start to finally get my ass into gear and work towards owning more stuff?
Or should I get rid of as many things as I can and stream-line my possessions?
Or impose a ban on myself? Go without buying anything for a certain period of time (Yea well, except food...)? How long could I do it? A month? Six months? A year?

I'll have to come back to this...

Along those lines, interesting link: A Life For Sale
I just love the idea of a completely fresh start...

Excuse Me, Ma'am, Where's Your Volume Control Switch?

Yea, looks like this is turning into a site dedicated to bitching and moaning after all. Hehe.

I promise to post some more pictures of the Netherlands and maybe even some Australia ones on the weekend.

But first some more complaining:
Why is it that American women have no volume control? Really, I need to know.

I have no scientific evidence whatsoever to back this up, but the American women I encounter in my job are significantly louder than all the other women.
The lovely US ladies stand in front of my office and freaking yell at each other. Usually about something not very interesting, like their kids' free-time activities or their last vacation. They don't seem agitated (as in 'angry'), but for some reason have a need to share their stories with the world.

So I'm wondering:
Is this a trait which can be traced back to the wide open spaces of the American West? Did people have to yell at each other from vast distances?

Or is it a matter of being overly self-confident? "My story matters to me, so I'm sure everybody else would love to hear it, too!"

Whatever reason is behind this slightly annoying behavior: Keep it down, ladies!


Oh, and I found this blog: Welcome To The International Center For The Advancement Of World Peace And Quiet . A man after my own heart.

Repetitive Tasks

So you're saying I'll have to do this for the rest of my life? Every day? At least twice?
Blah.

36-Year-Old Still Looking For Ways To Make Brushing Fun

SAN FRANCISCO-More than three decades after acquiring his first Pink Panther toothbrush, Mark Naasz continues to search unsuccessfully for new ways to make brushing his teeth fun, the 36-year-old Bernal Heights resident revealed Monday.

Yea, I know, The Onion is joking. I'm not. Really.

I often wonder how much time I spend doing mundane tasks. Think about it: Brushing my teeth, washing my face, brushing my hair, taking showers. Oh yea: Shaving excess body hair, getting hair cuts, plucking stray eyebrow hair...Sheesh, it never ends!
And that is just body maintenance...Then there's apartment cleaning, commuting to work, food shopping and preparation, etc. etc.

Not that I would necessarily fill the countless hours with something that much more worthwhile if I didn't have to do the 'upkeep'-stuff. Just saying'.

Oh, and I couldn't find any statistics about the number of hours I will have spent brushing my teeth over my expected 82 years of life.

But this is pretty cool, too:

Hmm, it says "with children", so maybe I'm closer to this:

The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics! What a treasure trove of information!
Love it.

What's With This Place?

Guess this isn't really a complaint...More of a an observation I'm making while I'm standing there, scratching my head, going "Oh really? You are serious about this?"...

Left the apartment at 6:30 this AM, it had just started to drizzle. OK, fine.
One minute into the ride: Hail. Alright, I can handle it. About three minutes of serious hail. It basically felt as if it was coming at me horizontally. Hmm.
Hail stopped and went back to drizzle...

Half-way into the ride: Sunshine and a pretty glorious sunrise. Think yellow, pink and red; with light-blue on top. Neat.

7:10, as I'm approaching the school: Hail again.
Ha!

Oh, and around 8:10, when everybody else came in: Pouring rain.

Right now (10:30): Sunshine.

Insanity!

On The Road Again

So I'm thinking I'll probably be more successful if I start looking for my MoJo on the road. Well, I haven't found it on the couch or at the bottom of a pint of Ben&Jerry's so far, so hey...

Went for a 30K-or-so bike ride in the drizzle. Ashamed to say that I have been on a run in that general direction (south), but have never made it this far (Even though I've been living is this apartment for about a year now...). Whoops.

Well, here are some pictures from the bike path towards Monster (Cool name for a town, huh?):











The beach in the area here is generally awesome.

I know I bitch and moan about the weather way too much (I've actually been wondering whether that's an age thing. I don't remember ever even thinking about the weather when I was younger. Now it seems to be a perfectly acceptable topic of conversation and a constant source of complaints...).
The Netherlands are (even by the most lenient of standards) NOT a country with good weather. To sum up: Lots of wind, rain and...oh yes, more wind.

Wait, let me back this up with some facts and not just anecdotal evidence:

"The climate is temperate, with gentle winters, cool summers, and rainfall in every season. Southerly and westerly winds predominate, and the sea moderates the climate through onshore winds and the effect of the Gulf Stream.

The position of The Netherlands—between the area of high-pressure air masses centred on the Azores and the low-pressure region centred on Iceland—makes the country an area of collision between warm and polar air masses, thus creating unsettled weather. Winds meet with little resistance over the flat country, though the hills in the south diminish by more than half the 13-mile-per-hour wind velocity that prevails along the coast. On average, frost occurs 60 days per year. July temperatures average about 63 °F (17 °C), and those of January average 35 °F (2 °C). The rainfall averages 31 inches (790 millimetres), with only about 25 clear days per year. The average rainfall is highest in summer (August) and autumn and lowest in springtime. The country is known—not least through the magnificent landscapes of Dutch painters—for its heavy clouds, and on an average day three-fifths of the sky is clouded."

Ha, The Encyclopedia Britannica knows Dutch weather. Hehe.

What I meant to say is: The weather isn't grand, but I love how Dutch people are out regardless. They just suck it up and go for a walk, bike ride, or run. Weather is not a deterrent. Good thing, too, otherwise the Dutch would permanently be stuck indoors...Pff.

The wind can be therapeutic sometimes, esp. along the beach. Nothing like battling against the wind (on the bike or on foot) and cursing. Harhar.

I wonder if this guy was cursing the elements. Sure had a lot of wind blowing against him:
This is what the dunes close to the ocean look like:
Oh, and this sad-looking thing will be a beach bar or restaurant soon enough. They take those down in the winter and re-build them in the spring.


And the grand finale for today: My filthy bike, a wet neighborhood street in Den Haag, and my dirty leg/foot. Good times.

Find Your Happy Place

Decided I will have to channel my inner Austin-self and find my 'Happy Place' more often...Haha, I sound like a bad version of Dr.Joel McGraw-Robbins already...

Made a little movie with Austin and San Antonio pictures (First time with this program, so bear with me...). And yes: I really, really liked it there...

Baby let's go...Away from here...Don't be confused...The way is clear...
And if you want it you got it forever...This is not a one-night stand, baby, so...
Let the music take your mind... Just release and you will find...

Come To The Dark Side

So really, is my lack of MoJo driving me insane? Am I that far in the no-motivation-hole that I'm willing to clutch at every straw presented to me? No matter who's at the other end? Am I easy prey for the dark side?

Seriously, I'm a little worried...

So I wake up this morning (late, of course) and while I'm trying to get going, I flip through the TV channels. It's Sunday, so one of the Dutch channels has some kind of religious service on. So does one of the German channels. Both look severely boring. Old oil-paintings of Jesus, priest in traditional garb, lame music...

I get to CNBC and who's preaching to the masses? Joel. Oh no, it's Joel....You know I cannot resist Joel...
I have a morbid fascination with him and he caught me at a weak moment. Damn. He's like this God-fueled motivational speaker...I block out the religious undertones and I really like listening to him.
Yea, I admit it. I like listening to a slightly manic-looking television-preacher from Texas. Sheesh.

Well, today Joel told me that my time will come or might already be here. As long as I work hard and believe in myself, good things WILL come to me.

Hey, who doesn't like to hear that? I think Joel (and maybe other TV preachers) are just like religiously-infused versions of Dr.Phil or Tony Robbins.

They are all making shitloads of money, and hey, why not? I have no problem with that. Especially since they have to keep up this upbeat facade of perfection all the time. I mean, Joel cannot show up and confess that he's having a shitty day and he really didn't feel like getting out of bed. Hehe.

Must be hard work to look like Barbie and Ken sometimes, don't you think?
Wahaha, really, they look like plastic dolls from hell. Stepford wife AND husband. I wonder who's at the controls? Hehe.
See, I guess I'm not a victim of the Lakewood megachurch just yet.

Back to all the motivational people on TV: They are not really hurting anybody and I think it's a good thing to hear their simple message every once in a while: Work hard, believe in your dreams, be a good person.

I mean, I can get behind that. No problem.
Hear that? I think that's my MoJo knocking on the door...

God Is Everywhere

No no, relax. No spontaneous religious conversion here. Not very likely to happen anytime soon...
I just noticed that I think and post about a lot of personal/mood/rant-stuff. Maybe I have too much time to be self-centered and narcissistic lately...

So I decided to put up more pictures and more 'observation'-type writing. At least every once in a while to offset the me-me-me posts...Haha.


I took this picture in the gardens around the State Capitol in Austin, TX, last month. There were a bunch of statues and stones commemorating a number of things. The statue of a cowboy, a frontier woman and other things related to Texas history ("The surrounding 22 acres (89,000 m²) contained 17 monuments and 21 historical markers commemorating the "people, ideals, and events that compose Texan identity."). Pretty neat setup and I enjoyed my stroll around the area.

This thing just got me thinking and quite frankly baffled me a bit. Why put up the 'Ten Commandments' in the grounds surrounding the seat of the state government? Is it meant to be a sign that Christianity and government are or should be linked? Well, just seemed weird to me. First Amendment, anyone? Oh, apparently not just to me:

A granite monument of the Ten Commandments on the grounds of the Texas State Capitol was at the center of a 2005 U.S. Supreme Court case, Van Orden v. Perry, in which the display was challenged as unconstitutional. In late June 2005, the Court ruled that the display was not unconstitutional.

Holding: A Ten Commandments monument erected on the grounds of the Texas State Capitol did not violate the Establishment Clause, because the monument, when considered in context, conveyed a historic and social meaning rather than an intrusive religious endorsement.

Huh. Go figure. Well, I guess I see the point. Still slightly weird, in my opinion. You could also display some kind of slave-owner-manual and claim it's a historical document, no?

Well, then I also found this:

A tablet in front of a very sad looking patch of land with no roses. Well, it was February after all. But look at the last sentence: "The beauty of the Tyler rose is an example of what happens when God and man work together." Oh really?

Oh well, I don't know...Here are a few more pictures of less controversial memorials and statues:

I really liked this memorial. Looked pretty awesome in the sun, with the shadows creating odd patterns. Neat. It reminded me a little of the Vietnam Memorial in D.C.
The aforementioned Texas pioneer lady and the cowboy:

The boy scouts sponsored a small replica of the Statue of Liberty:
Oh, all quotes in this post from Wikipedia (Don't want to be accused of plagiarism after all. But I am too lazy to post exact links. Hehe). Pictures by Me.

Common Courtesy

So while I'm on this testy bitching-binge, might as well write about this:

Whatever happened to common fucking courtesy?

When did it go out of style to hold the door open for the next person, say 'please' and 'thank' you and just generally be a pleasant person to be around?
Yea, beats me, too.

Quite a few people have asked me how I can always be so friendly and nice to people who come to my office (Yes, I know. You wouldn't necessarily be able to tell that I am a nice person from today's entries... Just venting...).
Why? Because it's part of my job to be welcoming and helpful. And because I try to be a positive in people's lives. It feels good to help others and give them a smile or make them giggle. No kidding.

Well, for all the people who annoy me with their non-social and non-friendly behavior. Just a few hints:

• You come to my office and ask for a favor? -- Say 'hello' first, freaks!

• Your food explodes in the microwave? -- Clean the mess up.
  

• You use the last bit of toilet paper? -- Put a new roll in the thingy.

• You drink the last drop of water from the water cooler? -- Put a new container in. Oh, and if you're too weak to do it: Tell me. I'll help you out.

I realize this type of stuff is the same in every office and everybody complains about it. Nothing new or terribly exciting.

I just don't understand what is so hard about these small tasks and gestures. Being courteous makes living/dealing with other humans so much more bearable.

So please: Be nice, for fuck's sake.

Oh, to add a positive twist: I get fresh flowers for my office every week. Nice, huh?
Thank you, work, I really appreciate it.
Hehe.

Man Up, Bitches!

Preface: I'm wondering at what point I will have to declare this blog-thing "adult-only" because of language issues? Meh, I'll try to keep it somewhat clean, but sometimes a few choice swearwords are in order. Just for tension-release. They also add color to the discourse...no? Well, today's WTFs (Yes, as usual, more than one.) from work need at least some swearwords...

So, I'll admit it: I've been a little short-tempered and cranky at work lately. Some of it might be related to my stolen (well...lost, misplaced...whatever) MoJo (see yesterday's entry), or to my being underchallenged and bored quite a bit. OK. So grain of salt, I guess...

But: People are fucking freaks, man.

Exhibit A: I arrange substitutes for people who know that they will be gone in advance (conferences, etc.; somebody going home sick during the day). You fall ill after 4pm or in the AM, call the sub-line --> A sub will be arranged.
A few people cannot follow this (easy, right?) procedure. Dumbos.
----
So I get a call this AM at 7:55 (school starts at 8:30): In a whiny-ass voice the lady tells me she cannot come in. Something about a headache.
I get a little testy, telling her she's NOT supposed to call me, and there's no way in hell I'll get a sub in on time: "Why didn't you call the sub-line?" - "I just woke up." - Seriously? WTF? This just leads me to suspect you overslept and cannot be bothered to come in. Bitch.

Exhibit B: 8:00am, next "emergency": "The carpet in my room is extremely dirty. The people who used my room after 4pm yesterday left it a mess. Could you get somebody to clean it?" Sure, no problem.
--
Cannot reach the concierges. I forget about it. Complainer comes back. I try again. Find this older worker-dude and he helps me track down the cleaners (We're running all over the school, mind you.).
I go to the teacher's room; say the cleaners will be there in a minute: "Oh, it's too late now. I'll start the class in a minute." - Hmm, OK. Whatever.
I look over at the carpet. A fucking 6-by-10-feet thing with two small specks of dirt on it! Pick the darn thing up, shake it twice --> Problem solved. Argh.

Exhibit C: I get a call from a concerned mom. She cannot babysit another family's daughter after school, because she has her own sick child at home. Could the girl maybe go to the after-school program as a drop-in because it's an emergency situation?
Well, I ask the after-school lady. "No, no. It's not a drop-in program. We have enough kids to deal with already." Fuck.
So, I tell her that there's really no other alternative and please, could she make an exception? If she doesn't agree, I'd have to keep the girl in my office (Yea, tried to play it a little passive-aggressive. Hey, what was I supposed to do?) for an hour and a half.
Bitch isn't bothered and I'm stuck with a 5-year-old assistant. WTF?

(It was actually a lot of fun, hehe. We played with paper airplanes, delivered mail and ran some other errands...
But really? Is this how people operate? It's not my job, so I don't care?Let somebody else do it? Is that really the way you want to portrait yourself to your colleagues? Sheesh.)


Well, some other things that were equally minor, yet hugely annoying. Haha.

What gets me: So many people seem to think that minor tasks are beneath them. That somebody else will take care of it. That community-space doesn't need to be taken care of (Seriously, the principal is one of the few people who pick up a piece of trash from the ground here...Never seen anybody else do the same. I kid you not. They step over it. They SEE it and walk around it.). That you can treat people shitty because they are your aide, a concierge or a cafeteria worker.
Pisses me off.

And yes, Karma will come back to bite you in the ass ... and all those dumbos will come back as dung-beetles. Harhar.

Maybe I should have had more coffee today after all...

This Is Why I Love Bill Maher

He calls it like he sees it. He's not afraid to offend anybody. He has a lot of strong opinions and puts them out there for the world to choke on them. Haha.

God, I wish I'd be more like that sometimes.

And for some reason, Maher manages to stay fairly civil and courteous while being direct. Or maybe that's just my perception of it. Hmm.
At least there's no beating around the bush with him. Very cool.

So here's his blog-entry from March 12, 2008:

Spitzer's Trysts: Stop Over-Thinking This
I'm going to throw the remote through the TV if one more news twink says something on the order of "When we come back, we'll look into what drives a successful man like Eliot Spitzer to risk it all..." Oh yes, let's convene a panel of experts for that. Let me help you: because he wants to get his nut off! Stop with all the analysis! It never ends, I hear all these people talking about how powerful people think they can get away with anything, so it's a thrill, or that it's for this psychological reason or this one -- please, he wanted to CUM WITH SOMEONE! Stop overthinking this: people need sex, and married people generally aren't getting it. Studies show (OK, I'm making that up, but it's true nonetheless) that people married 20 years only have sex on Valentine's Day, their anniversary, and their birthdays. You can hate me as the messenger, but it's true -- how can anyone be expected to still want to score with someone you've been having sex with for a score? Mr. Spitzer simply wanted what humans desire, to feel that sensational sensation when you're hot for someone, to touch and hug and bump and grind -- this is really not that complicated! If you're ascribing more to it than that, it's probably really more about your own fear that your spouse wants to do the same thing. Or is doing it. Married people are often starved for sex, touch, affection, not to mention the kinky stuff that wifey definitely won't do. So if you find yourself at such a place in life -- and this is most certainly wives as well -- where you're dieing like this, you can do one of three things: get divorced, cheat, or continue to live a life with little or no passion, sex, etc. It's easy to point fingers, but how about some recognition that society's rules are so at odds with human nature that there are actually no good options for an Eliot Spitzer, and the ZILLIONS OF PEOPLE JUST LIKE HIM, many of who are tut-tut-ing today. I guess a guy is a hero who sticks it out and leads a life of quiet desperation. I'm not so sure it's heroic to make him.

The sentence in blue really strikes a cord with me, too. And I'm not really taking it as a comment that refers to married people. Not at all.
How many people DO live a life of quiet desperation? Makes me sad to think about the numbers...

Seriously Now: Who Stole My MoJo?

I'm really pissed off at somebody right now. I just cannot figure out at whom. Somehow I suspect I'm the culprit myself, but I'm not sure I'm ready to admit that. Haha.

I seem to have misplaced my running/workout/eating-healthy MoJo, and I would really like to get it back. I was doing really well from August 2007 to right around Christmas; logging decent miles, eating well, being generally optimistic about life...Well, there were some weeks in November and December when my MoJo seemed to make some well-crafted escape attempts...But it stuck around regardless...

Ever since Christmas I have a hard time to get my (expanding...GRR) butt out the door and away from the fridge/cabinets...

I did alright when I was on vacation in Austin, but it got worse after I got back. What gives?

So, MoJo: Come back? Please?

Oh, and I'm slightly relieved because other people seem to have similar problems...
Maybe I should drop this Gary-dude a line...

Holier Than Thou

So why exactly is it that the people preaching the loudest are often the ones committing the 'crimes' they are so fervently denouncing?
Just baffles me.

So the governor of New York, Eliot Spitzer, uses his alleged superior morality and record as Attorney General to get elected. He goes after criminals with fervor:

"As state attorney general, he prosecuted prostitution rings with enthusiasm — pointing out that they are often involved in human trafficking, drug trafficking and money laundering. In 2004 on Staten Island, Mr. Spitzer was vehement in his outrage over 16 people arrested in a high-end prostitution ring." (from the NYT Editorial, March 11)

And then he goes and hooks up with a hooker? Seriously?

I'm telling you, 'holier than thou' always comes back to bite you in the ass.

And on a somewhat related note: I wish people would stop commenting on other people's relationships/marriages.
Nobody knows anything about the Spitzer family. Nor should they. The state of the Spitzer marriage, whatever agreements or problems they might have is their business. Simple as that.

And, don't push your morals on me and assume you know ANYTHING about me and my private life. Blech.

Flame Wars and Internet Cowardice

So I'm somewhat addicted...ah, feck it...I AM addicted to these internet message boards and spend way too much time on there (Mostly during work hours, I'm ashamed to admit.). People are supposedly posting because they are all united by a love for running. Hmm. Yea. Maybe.

It's actually a surprisingly fun place to spend some virtual time at. People of different ages, gender, location, political preference, religion, etc. etc. hang out and post. There are: a daily "coffee thread"; threads dedicated to certain types of music; wordy political statements; game threads;...It's a pretty eclectic little world...And yes, you can also find race reports and the occasional running-related question or discussion.

So, like I said, I spend a lot of time on there, reading what others have to say and giving my own opinion.
I know what drew me to those boards in the first place (I was interested in running. Duh.). I'm not sure though what made me stay...and come back for more and more for over a year and a half now...

A few guesses and observations...
a. The message board (well, quite a few of the 'sub'-boards are like that) is a weird and very tight-knit little world of its own. It's hard to describe to people who don't frequent message boards (And you better not try to explain...They will just think you're a freak. Haha).
There are a bunch of very vocal and visible 'forum personalities'. They are completely out there with their opinions and stories.
I know about more about the sex-life of one female forumite than I care to know, really. Well, her alleged sex-life. Because that's the kicker: Who knows who's sitting behind that keyboard somewhere in Arizona (And is that where she really is? Hehe.).
Guess my point is that this message board is a place where people can reveal as much or as little as they care to reveal; a place where you can be completely yourself or be somebody completely different.
I am amazed at how much real information some people post. Some use their own name or have their picture as their avatar. Some often post pictures of themselves or of their kids.
Others reveal close to nothing and therefore have a huge anonymity benefit: They can sprout off their opinions and criticisms; no holds barred. They have never given a piece of themselves , never made themselves vulnerable...

b. Which brings me to my second observation: Some people are real assholes on the board. I'm no stranger to the occasional flippant comment or cynical remark, but some of the posters are just plain mean and hurtful.
Why? What kind of satisfaction could you possibly get out of putting other people down? In a virtual world nonetheless? Commenting negatively on their picture (and perceived imperfections) or condemning their political views/religion serves no purpose, in my opinion.
So I've been wondering: Are the posters (who are quick with a harsh smack-down and offensive comment) just internet-cowards? Or are they the same in real life?
And what about the people who let 'rude internet behavior' happen, i.e. don't comment and never call the bully on their lack of courtesy? Are they cowards, too?

Hmm. Guess I've been pissed off about a thing or two on the boards lately...

c. Oh, and it's not that I mind a heated argument or discussion. I actually enjoy those. In person and on the boards. They are usually fun to read; even if they degenerate a little bit sometimes. The flame-wars on the boards are certainly entertaining; unless they turn into name-calling. Oh well.

d. Good grief, I do not only spend too much time on the boards, I apparently also spend too much time thinking about them. Doh!

Enough for now...

A Sucker For Inspiration

So here's a weird thought:
Almost everybody is a sucker for inspiration, but hardly anybody leads an inspired life.
-What's with that?

Well, maybe I'm just speaking for myself here...

I notice that there are a lot of inspiration-spreading methods out there (daily emails with quotes; calendars; all the Oprah-moments and -shows; videos on YouTube; etc.) and that there's apparently a truckload of money to be made with self-help/get your act together/live the life you've dreamed of - concepts (or scams, depending on your point of view. Hehe)...

Yet, many people seem to be defeated and without much joy in their life. I notice at work, with some friends and acquaintances, random encounters...A lot of grim faces, a lot of tiredness, grumpiness...a rather bleak outlook on life, its pleasures and challenges.

Not that I'm always cheery and inspired, but I try to be.
I try to see the small, everyday joys...The flowers on my bike ride home, the sun rising just above the horizon, the beauty of the ocean around here...
I try to be nice to people (or at least to the ones who deserve it. Haha.)...
I try to be a positive in people's lives, not an energy-drainer...

Well, anyway, I guess I've been a little grouchy lately, too. Not exactly sure why though.

Maybe it's because I feel a little aimless, listless, joyless...pretty much allkindsofthings-less. This might still be part of my 'vacation-hangover', but I also feel as if I need to make a decision about where I'm going with ... well, my life.

I'd hate to be one of those people of wasted potential or unfulfilled dreams...Suddenly realizing that life has made decisions for me...Feeling stuck in a cruel web of obligations and pressures that somehow crept up on me...

Right now, I feel my life is lacking real structure and goals (But I also have no obligations or pressures...Which is a good thing, I guess.). I have a lot of options...a lot of "roads in a wood" I could take. It's just a matter of taking the proverbial bull by the horns at some point...Hmm.

So, this might all sound a little confused. That's because I am, too.

Oh, and Robert Frost? Try having more than one road to take...

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Plus, a song that always makes me feel sentimental and hopeful at the same time...
Good Riddance

Just Call Me MacGyver

So I'm ready to leave the apartment at 6:15 yesterday morning and I realize I didn't plug in the bike-light battery to charge the night before. Damn.
Didn't want to ride without a light, so I looked for the only other portable source of illumination: A flimsy key-chain flashlight. Rode into work like this:
Not exactly sure this was much better than no light at all, but hey... Felt both pathetic and MacGyverish.

Big Freaking Surprise

Yea, cannot really say I'm surprised. Often works that way for me: Awfully good intentions, awful execution...

I don't know how some people do it...Post on their blog every day or (gasp!) even multiple times a day.
Either my life is way too boring or I'm just lazier than average...Probably both.

I have this long lists of things I want to write about (And I DO have scribbled notes; typed-up, half-finished pieces; old essay-drafts...) + a gazillion pictures on my computer and in two large cardboard boxes (which need to be scanned...sigh...). Still, looks like the level of posting-urgency hasn't hit 'orange alert' just yet...

So well, now at least here's a post about how I just couldn't be bothered to post.
Hey, it's a start.